real.simple.crazy.impulsive.true.just bein’me.

It was 1 am,and we were driving home from Cupang. I felt tired, and at the same time numbed.The past few weeks felt absolutely like hell,and I was willing to take a break from it all.I mean,who wouldn’t?

I sighed and tilted my head towards the car window,closing my eyes to try drown my bro’s noisy chatter and the thoughts constantly drumming in my head(mental disorder,maybe?).A few seconds of peace will be most welcome,but it was no use.I opened my eyes again and found myself gawking at the moon,which hung marvelously against the night sky.It was a beautiful,touching sight;lovely yet sad,because there were no stars to accompany its heavenly glow.And i felt just like the same.I felt alone and incredibly sad.

Feeling sorry for myself,I was again becoming a victim of the unwelcome thoughts that I was constantly trying to suppress.It was exhausting,and I just wanted to get away from it all.I wanted to be carefree,without anything to worry about……

And I did.I found myself now staring at the ocean shimmmering under the moonlight,with the soft sand between my toes.I took in the fresh,balmy air, and the stars twinkling,like diamonds sparkling against deep blue velvet.Roman would love this.I thought.My dearest friend Roman,who,like I,had that intense and sort of maddening infatuation with the moon and its beauty,magic,and mystery.I wished he were with me at that time.I could tell him absolutely anything and not be afraid that I will be judged or ridiculed.He listened,and accepted you for who you really are.And he also made me laugh.He’s a great friend,and I bet he’ll love the beautiful scenery.

Just thinking of Roman,and missing him suddenly filled me with nostalgic thoughts,and I was whisked to some events that I will never forget……

I suddenly found myself walking out of Room 311,fresh from a Unit Exam that Mrs. Edra gave from outer space.I was with my friend Anna,and we were both complaining on the questions and our mismatched answers and guesses. And then our other classmates came pouring out,grumbling about the same thing,until somebody jokingly suggested,"road trip!!!".Then out of the blue,they started making plans,like who had a car,and that we were to go to Tagaytay.Uh,oh.I thought.Not for me.Apparently Anna thought so too,because we both agreed to go home,or else,we will both get grounded.For life.We inched our way out of the group,afraid to be labeled as "KJ"s.But,this boy,whom I was deeply in love at that time,suddenly grabbed ny hand and told me,"Pau,tara na,sasama ka!"And then he drags me while smiling at me in a most charming way.Oh Lord,I thought.What’s going on?And so,I let him drag me(while dragging Anna,hehe) and the next thing I knew we were in Kuya Jojo’s auto with Phoebe,Christian,Sir Khalil,Edward,Clea,and Rowell,and we were speeding towards Tagaytay.We went to Picnic Grove and goofed around in nursing uniforms (Uh,oh),and then we went to Sir Khalil’s friend.Our last stop was Jollibee where we had dinner.Eventually,of course,we had to go home.But it was one of the most fun moments for me,both crazy and impulsive,just to give ourselves a break and just enjoy the moment.Well,it was also a way to take our minds off the impending doom that was to be our exam results.hehe.I really enjoyed it.

And so my thoughts fast forwarded,and then I was lying on a manila paper on the grass,on a starry night,beside Emerson.We were both on our university’s soccer field,right after lectures from Doc Arni.We were flirting,teasing,laughing and talking about everything under the sun-or stars,that is.I couldn’t have asked for anything more romantic than that.And then we both saw a shooting star.I grabbed his hand while we made our wishes.

"I love you," He whispered to me in the sweetest way possible.I felt my my eyes tear up(Yeah,yeah,I know I’m a crybaby).As I told him I love him,it was with all my heart and my soul.After that,3 more shooting stars dazzled the sky.

A loud honking tore me from my thoughts,and I was once again back on the old leather seat of our car.We were now at the Southwoods exit.Sigh.My few minutes of peace and reminiscing are over,and once again,my head filled with unwelcome thoughts,and I began to feel the exhaustion again.                                                                              

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